Dastaan-E-SRK-Newark-SRK

Strutting zestfully past the suave passage ways of the Newark International Airport, THE brownie superstar glided fashionably through the blatantly unlike-Delhi crowd and marched through to the place he had to. Rummaging in his trouser pocket for his… (Well…nothing actually…it’s considered a fashion statement) and extracting his goggles in a manner that would have made Manish Malhotra blush, he sang to the White men, “The name’s Khan. KKKKK…Khan…” “Oh…is it really? Then step aside please.”

Nope...this isn’t the starting (or the ending) scene of some sleek Hollywood flick. Not from a Bollywood one either [I know it bears eerie resemblances to My Name Is Khan {which KJ might very well consider editing given the latest real life incidence which I’m sure is WAY better than what he’d have written (principally with the intention of exercising the lachrymal glands)}]

SRK, THE man, was made to look like Zarar Shah’s distant cousin, his Indian aide (not to be mistaken for its rhyming words) and possibly even made to look like ‘just another Brownie from South Asia’ (if you are oblivious as to who the gentlemen mentioned earlier in the sentence is, look for him in Pakistan’s golden pages). Well…reading that bit of news in the papers that morning, some interested folk (all atleast 5 years younger to me) came up to me that day in school (while I was diligently carrying out the responsibilities entrusted upon me by means of fashionable looking additions to my uniform) and asked me, “Bhaiyya…yeah Shah Rukh Khan kaun hai?”

Nah…I know that didn’t work..let me think of better ways to fill up this place.

Yeah…right…highly well placed sources close the Airport authorities tell Reverberation that the King wasn’t detained because of his surname. JG Silverstone, exclusive worldwide roaming special correspondent working assiduously for the progress of Reverberation has indeed brought us information that’ll help in increasing his wage. Whatever below is the whole and sole effort of Mr. Silverstone and I shall appreciate it if you acknowledge his invaluable contribution to the success of this organization (I’ve edited it of course…:P). Well, THE man was detained for multiple reasons that had nothing to do with his mane (Ah..sorry…I meant name) ;)

1) His luggage contained unusually excessive quantities of Tag Heuer and incidentally, the governor of Newark wears Tissot (even Sarah Palin does...). So……………..

2) He refused to give them Aishwarya Rai’s telephone number…( so why they confiscated his mobile phone is no longer an ambiguity)

3) They complained he bore eerie resemblances to a renowned on screen three-letter-named villainous character.

4) They said he was too good-looking to be an Asian commoner (and he was indeed getting into close physical touch with fellow males of the waiting lounge). In addition, a dumb, inebriated geek shouted loudly from the diagonally opposite corner of the hall that THE man vaguely resembled Oscar Wilde.

5) They said they saw him getting cozy with several ladies in the airport and suspected him to be Adam Stanford’s Asian agent.

6) A black guy from the Security force also made an interesting observation when he said, “I saw this bloke warmly shaking Modi-someone’s hand and that guy is a complete lothario. I saw this guy also seducing two women and pushing them off terraces…I can produce the video evidence if required.”

7) Dr. Sanjay Gupta (who happened to be flying to the White House to give the Dark Dude a detailed report of how hopelessly the country was doing against Swine Flu) didn’t help greatly either, adding that “This man has been THE smoking icon of India for as long as a couple of decades now. This man has been instrumental in bringing about acute pulmonary hazards to thousands of disease-free human beings across the world by making them believe it is ‘cool’ and ‘SRK-ish’ to blow tobacco into the air.”

8) He had evaded paying tax for the last 67 months and so, the call made to Rajeev Shukla was actually suicidal. The inane-looking, bulgy, white-clad schmuck offered the Security officials a fat cheque each (procuring them wouldn’t be difficult at all you see…he was a CORE member of the BCCI), who were only too pleased by the mutually beneficial pact. He also offered them a Scotch absolutely free of cost if they detained him for more than an hour-and-a-half.

9) Sources also confide in Reverberation that leading industrialist Mukesh Ambani had a hand in the entire episode. Although the precise reason for the malice might seem hazy yet, one could very well do dating back to April and May of 2008 and 2009. (He shook Nita Ambani’s hand and……………………….well, drop it...)

10) Also, the police of Newark seemed to have received an intelligence tip-off from an old bloke in Adelaide, who alleged a black-goggled, wrinkled, stuttering, stammering, swanky, ritzy man with a KKR jersey was the pioneer of treachery and illegitimate ouster.

And yeah…by the way, Reverberation can also afford to make a startling revelation to you. One of the unreasonably perverse Security officials had a face that would look similar to any good old bloke in the 3.28 million square kilometers of the world 7^th largest nation. Take a look for yourself…

But how THE man exonerated himself will be a tale that would fill many books. I await its Dastaan.