Of Deceit,Decimation and Disillusionment

Ever heard of these names:-Pedophile Priest? Appam Chutiya? Peter Ka Beta? Vinnie Dildo? Bhooka Naan? Prince Charles of Patiala? Little Johnie? Well…I’m sure you would have only if you, like me, have been in the pursuit of following a very intriguing blog page over the last week. This anonymous blogger, as we are all conscious of, claims to be an incognito blogger within the ranks of the KKR camp. Right then…who do you think it might be? Your guess is as good as mine. I was initially cajoled into believing that this would be some aimless prankster from within the country carrying out this bizarre activity to magnetize eyeballs. However, with the passage of time and the publication of new, even queerer posts, one could smell something sinister. This prompted me to plunge into some serious research of the team. I was in for a complete stunner when I discovered that there were 12 members in the support staff…yes you’ve read it right…12 members for 20 players…ludicrous, I know. That’s what can happen if one is given complete liberty by a team owner as lurid as SRK. But another interesting piece of information…none of them is an Indian! But the blogger definitely is one (the nicknames will tell you why). There we are then…one Indian in the squad (who claims he hasn’t played a game for KKR till now) is the man we are in search of. Could it be SRK himself? Again…your guess is as good as mine.

Enough speculation for now. Here are some real facts. The Deccan Chargers look favourites to win this season of the Indian Premier League. The ‘G-Force’ as they are beginning to call it these days looks in such ominous form that their batting at the crease is almost like that of a book cricket game! One day we have 40 runs in three overs…yesterday 60 runs in 4 overs…I empathize with those hapless bowlers getting obliterated and annihilated for no plausible fault of theirs! It has been pleasing to observe Herschelle Gibbs’ return of sorts…after a horrendously abysmal ordeal, including many trysts with the world’s gravest seduction-Alcohol. Herschelle Gibbs has resurrected his career in the most thunderous manner. Andrew Symonds…are you observing? Gilly on the other hand is making people muse if he really should have retired from international cricket. He can even now, stroll into an Aussie batting line up and win matches for them with the same voracity that is associated with him. Yeah…speaking of Herschelle Gibbs and Adam Gilchrist…one thing that has been conspicuous all through this IPL so far has been the unprecedented, splendid show of the ‘Boodha Brigade’, as I’d like to term it. Mathew Hayden, Sourav Ganguly, Rahul Dravid, Sachin Tendulkar, Herschelle Gibbs, Adam Gilchrist, Daniel Vettori have all been transcendent and have successfully and permanently abolished sententious misconceptions of T20 cricket being the forte of the ‘young’.

Amid this entire hullabaloo in the rainbow nation, it is quite possible to forget that another IPL is reaching its climax in India, with only 18 days to go for the final. The match looks like it’ll go down to the wire, with very competent players grappling hard for the top spot. My ardent hope is that the National Democratic Alliance forms the next Government of India, with Sri Lalchand Kishenchand Advani as the next illustrious Prime Minister of this magnificent country. My visit to his Wikipedia page yesterday gave me enough reason to believe he would make a proficient Prime Minister. It’s time this legend graced the august chair of the Prime Minister for one last time, rather than a family affair panning out at 7 Race Course Road. My only violent objection with the UPA government is its miserable inability to counter terrorism. It has remained obstinate all through these years, maintaining a defiant stand that their party has done ‘all that is possible’ to abolish the country’s greatest danger. Fact of the matter is…that it hasn’t come even close to doing so. Countless terror attacks in the spate of five years…Assam, Gujarat, Bangalore, Lucknow, Hyderabad, Delhi and Mumbai. All these glorious towns of this splendid country besieged by those extremists whose sole objective is homicide. And we had a Home Minister who would visit with a smug face the sites of carnage (wearing state-of-the-art clothes) and address the nation with a hopeless countenance. All we get to hear each time is the usual boilerplate-“We condemn the blasts”…Whoa! Inspirational…isn’t it? On some occasions though, the Hon’ble Home Minister went a step further to establish his utter incapability…”We had intelligence of the possible occurrence of something like this”. The latest nail in their coffin is their stand against the Lankan government’s endeavour to eliminate one of the world’s most dreaded terrorist outfits. We’ve had big men, from Pranab Mukherjee himself to M K Narayanan rushing to Lanka as though the Lankan army were warming up for an assault on us. What with that preposterously illogical ‘fast’ by Karunanidhi (who’s obviously done it to secure ‘fast’ votes), eh? That is why I want this UPA government kicked out of power in the most vehement manner. I know it is blasphemous to say so but is certainly not inept.

This summer will hopefully divulge a constructive result that will lead the country to greener pastures. This summer will hopefully mark the coronation of a living legend…